Monday, August 17, 2009

Carousel of Dreams and Sorrows - The fallen Jethopper

The Fallen Jethopper








I am in the process of remaking Immersiva but its taking me longer than seven days. Its an unpopular choice but here is an explanation of sorts. When I paint a picture I would sometimes find myself afraid to accidentally screw it up. But at the same time I would feel that there was something missing, but not be exactly sure what the problem was. Perhaps I had a new idea I wanted to try but to do so might mess everything up. For example, if i had created a scene over a month with figures around a table, and suppose i wanted to move one figure over a tiny bit or change where he was looking etc then its a huge undertaking and you can quite possibly mess up the entire painting. This is mostly because if you erase something and then realize it was a mistake, then try to recreate the original, its rarely as good as the first attempt. Because the first time you are loose and open and when you recreate you are tighter and it shows. It often loses its spontaneity. So what happens is you have an almost perfect painting which you are afraid of ruining yet you are not 100% happy because you still wonder what might have happened if you tried your other idea. What this all does it keep you from trying new things out of fear of buggering up your work. It can keep you from advancing. I took what my gallery found to be a heartbreaking approach. It actually made one of the gallery owners cry when she was told of it. What I began to do was take my favorite paintings and destroy them. Well not destroy all of them. I buried some in the back yard of an old house i lived in, some were left in alleyways, one is buried under a gas station another is sealed in plastic and on the bottom of a lake. Anyway the point is that if I found myself becoming too attached to one (because you can fall in love with your paintings) then I would force myself to do this. Now whenever I do anything, painting or building in SL, I always advance. I can take something i love and not be afraid to try something which might destroy it, because well.. its better than being on the bottom of a lake. I have not had to do this for a while now and I still fall in love with things i make, I just am now able to suddenly try something new to them without fear. There have been many times when that new idea was an improvement and had i been afraid to take the risk then I would not have learned. Changing Immersiva is a bit like this. I don't feel there is anything wrong with it but I want to try new things. Anyway I realize the burying of my paintings sounds insane so lets move on to the Jethopper.

On the Carousel of Dreams and Sorrows is an empty spot between the Octobot and Seahorse. The Large Jethopper used to sit there. The tiny jethoppers would see him up there each day. They saw him almost as a god. Distant and mysterious. For to them he was unattainable. One day the wind came and blew the Jethopper from the carousel down onto the ground. When the tiny jethoppers came then next day they found him partially in the water. They saw he was rusty and a machine like they were. All the robots of Immersiva were left alone when the theme park was abandoned by man. They all adapt in different ways, some look for companionship and some merely exist. The tiny jethoppers had found hope and meaning on top of a carousel.


Jethoppers



A Jethopper

on the ground
broke the silence
with a sound

A chirping question
a mournful call
at the sight of
the Icons fall

Once a remote
constellation
brought into focus
devastation

Two worlds built
and together fell
from the height of
a Carousel
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